Category: Relation ships

Understanding thoughts

What are thoughts?

I guess we all what thoughts are in our language. But do we understand them, do we control them are we in control of them?
I guess we are in control of them.

Our struggle with thoughts seems a never-ending process now, we always wonder in our thoughts. Past to present we wander into them, imagining things and creating pictures in our head, sometimes we feel stuck in our head which is playing past reels again and again and we feel like punishment sometimes we name them as negative thoughts or toxic thoughts.
These are very common problems we all face related to our thoughts right? Let’s see if we can do something about it.

To know your thoughts, I will ask you to just take a moment off and see, see into your head and see what is playing right now. The pictures you can see on your brain screen that is thoughts right, now take a more deep look into it and you will realize these are nothing but words.
We are talking to ourselves and that is what we call thoughts.

Can we control them?

Now we know what are thoughts but we have another problem to face which is can we control them?
I guess you have your answers, take a moment off and see what self-talk is going on inside you right now and can we change the topic of it? Of course, you can it’s your brain the words that are on your screen are the words you are choosing choose different words and the topic will be changed automatically.

Are there negative-positive thoughts?

I believe there is not negative-positive thought in our head but wrong and right.

Imagine you are talking to your friend and he is going through trouble in his life, but while listening to him you are playing thoughts like how you gonna be successful, productive, a good man in future but is it the right time to think about it? This is positive thinking, indeed healthy thinking but the timing is wrong so it is wrong thinking at this moment.

So if you are wondering about your past because something really bad happened with it, it’s okay the thinking is not negative or positive just select a time for it, practice playing the right thoughts in your head according to the moment you are in.
That’s all you need to learn and practice for a happy life.

How to overcome breakup

What does break up mean?
In short, losing a person you love.
But this is a very short description of it. We just don’t lose a person, we lose many things s with it
Eg. – Moments of love, a person with whom you felt no fears, a person with whom you designed so many dreams, with whom you have shared so many of your feelings and this is not the only thing.
Now the person is no longer in our life so we call feel that space inside our heart, the time we used to spend with them will be empty and it will keep on hunting you down.

You gonna feel this void inside you, that will kind of start eating you bit by bit and you can not think of anything but cry.

Is not it is so scary, but our question is how can we overcome break-up? I believe it is not the break-up we want to overcome but the person. What we want is to forget about all those memories, good and bad all that emptiness and all that scary aloneness that is kind of eating us. You want peace and possibly you want that same person back. Possibly you are trying to convince them to come back to forgive all your faults and mess you made, also it is possible that it was not your mistakes but you still want them back.

How to overcome it.
The first step is to decide that you want to overcome it and only after that you can process the things I am about to mention ahead.
Why am I asking for this? Because so many of us stuck ourselves between moving on and getting them back.

let’s find out how.
As I already mentioned, we see a breakup as a loss in our life and if we are losing something we try our best to get it back.
Let’s not do this now. Accept it that the person is no longer in our lives and does not want to return. So now you are all set to move on. Let’s see what we can do now in points.

1. Look for the positive sides.
Everything has positive and negative sides, but when we face something really bad in our lives we tend to fix our focus on the negatives of it, we see all the bad things that are happening because of it and start crying about it all the time. But hey buddy takes a break to calm your mind and look for the positive sides, I bet there are many but you are just being blind for it. Eg. – Now you have more free time, maybe the person was not worthy of you, you are free from worries, you can build some good habits, you have enough time to upgrade yourself.

2. Settle you focus
We are the only creature on this planet who can think, plan, have dreams, goals and ambitions in life. But we use it to make our lives more painful but now use it for positive, to settle your focus from breakup to something else we need to have something bigger in our brain. Have goals, busy yourself into finding purpose in your life or if you already have it then drive all your focus into it, remember when the attentional space of your brain is occupied by something else you can’t cry for a breakup.

3. Live in present.
What we do after a breakup is spend a lot of time in our head thinking about the last fight, good memories, lovely moments and so many other things we share similar with that person and this is the worst mistake we do. Good or bad just don’t think about it, it’s past now and you are in your present so live in it, settle yourself in it. Take a long walk without letting your head wandering in past or future, feel your surroundings, talk to different people, new people, write something, read a good book (Fiction can be helpful) spend time watching movies with your family, cook food. Just do some really good things in your present that is all.

Now I want to know did you catch the point of this blog? If not then no problem I will explain.
Instead of focusing on breakup settle your focus on different things. Focus on self-improvement. I know it hurts that you are no longer with that person you loved so much but it is time to let all those things for the sake of peace and happiness, life is so long and you will meet different in your life. So live it fully, happily, joyfully.

Feel the pain when arrives, learn what it has to teach you, accept what is gone and be ready to get what is coming.
Remember you can not escape from pain but you can be friends with pain so when it will come it will teach you so much.